Here are some great phrases that lovehoney have put together to help you get over your tongue tiedness and get you and your lover fucking like wild animals!

1. This is going to be the filthiest night of your life
2. I’m dripping wet and gagging for you
3. Fuck me now!
4. You look really sexy when you do that…
5. You can have me any way you want
6. I’m your sex slave for the evening
7. I’m naked and I’m touching myself…
8. You make me so horny
9. I want you to touch me here…
10. It drives me wild when you look at me like that
11. Put your big, hard cock in my mouth
12. Get the camera!
13. I’m gonna lick you until you scream
14. Tie me up and touch me slowly
15. You taste so good
16. I want to rub my pussy all over your face
17. Pound me into oblivion
18. Fuck me like a porn star
19. Spray your juice all over my tits
20. No-one has ever made me come as hard as you

I like 2 and 16, and there’s nothing wrong with 3. Personally, while I do love being sprayed wth cum, I would usually reserve this phrase for when a guys cum tastes bad as much prefer to swallow.

If you are gagging for more then here are plently more dirty phrases to say in bed.

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So my in my daydream I was busy planning a weekend of knotty fun, but then I realised that it’s been a while since I tied anyone up and I can’t remember how to do it! Well I’m sure I’d be able to manage to restrain someone but not in the impressive and slick way I used to know.

I had a look at youtube and found some great tutorial videos, which have refreshed my memory.

One of my favorites is called the basic wrap and it’s really quick and versatile.

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There are loads off different rooms but the ones I am really looking forward to are:

The Sensorium

Promising to teach you how to undress sexily, how to give a sensual massage it also looks at aphrodisiacs and how to play erotic food games, yum yum.

Fantasy and Fetish

You are asked to leave behind your inhibitions and open your eyes to bondage and other sexual games. I can’t wait to have a go on the spankometer which gauges how hard to use a paddle.

http://www.amoralondon.com/

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Substifuck.

A substifuck simply defined as you may be able to guess is a substitute fuck. Someone you fuck instead of someone you really want to.

Now this term donates something more than merely fantasising about someone else during sex. Or wishing you were actually fucking someone else. For example:

• When I’m fucking a guy I quite often fantasise that there is another girl involved. That is not a substifuck situation.
• Sometimes when I’m fucking someone I may close my eyes and imagine they are someone else, some celebrity that I fancy or the cute guy who works at the supermarket, although closer this is still not a substifuck.

A substifuck is where you meet someone not necessarily because you like them especially, really just to kill time and distract you from who you would much rather be seeing and for whatever reason can’t.

I would never want to fuck someone I didn’t fancy but sometimes personality and a connection just are not important. In fact someone who is good in bed but who has no distinct sexual personality and where there is no real connection between you is perfect. I have a few sex friends, and while I am not in love with any of them I respect them and care for them. I fuck them because I want sex and I want sex with them specifically. My head my occasionally adds other imaginary characters into the room with us but my mind is never completely unfaithful. I would grant no such courtesy to a substifuck. A substifuck is there to be fucked for fuck’s sake, who they are is really irrelevant. You do not feel any kind of warmth towards them, what you feel for them is in fact a lack of feeling, complete and utter indifference.

To you they are an ends to a means, little more than a blow up doll with more features, completely expendable and replaceable, While you fuck them, your entire mind an body is imagining that you are fucking who you really want to be with, your thoughts of your substifuck are completely non-existant.

That was our drunken attempt at enriching the English language. It’s not big and it’s not clever but it amused us.

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