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Sexy phrases to help you talk dirty in bed

editor — Mon, 18 May 2009 21:09:49 +0000

I love talking dirty and being talked dirty to. Dirty phone calls, sexy texts, kinky emails but best of all one on one in the bedroom.

Here are some great phrases that lovehoney have put together to help you get over your tongue tiedness and get you and your lover fucking like wild animals!

This is going to be the filthiest night of your life
I’m dripping wet and gagging for you
Fuck me now!
You look really sexy when you do that…
You can have me any way you want
I’m your sex slave for the evening
I’m naked and I’m touching myself…
You make me so horny
I want you to touch me here…
It drives me wild when you look at me like that
Put your big, hard cock in my mouth
Get the camera!
I’m gonna lick you until you scream
Tie me up and touch me slowly
You taste so good
I want to rub my pussy all over your face
Pound me into oblivion
Fuck me like a porn star
Spray your juice all over my tits
No-one has ever made me come as hard as you

I like 2 and 16, and there’s nothing wrong with 3. Personally, while I do love being sprayed wth cum, I would usually reserve this phrase for when a guys cum tastes bad as much prefer to swallow.

If you are gagging for more then here are plently more dirty phrases to say in bed.

I love giving blow jobs

editor — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 23:01:42 +0000

I really do love having a mouth full of cock. Apparently I’m quite the expert. Although, it is hard to take compliements seriously when you have your mouth full and they want you to keep going. A few of the guys I know tell me that they’d had girlfriend that just wouldn’t give them blowjobs, it would appear that some girls don’t like doing it. It don’t understand why, i mean the feeling of having someone get harder in your mouth is so amazing. I suppose if the guy has a pugly cock then fair enough, I’d never suck an ugly cock, although, I wouldn’t fuck one either.

And I suppose minging cum is another consideration.

My answer the the question spit or swallow? Gargle!

As long as the cum is not rank, in that case if I’m taken by surprise I most definitely spit. Then in future, I’d tell the guy how sexy I’d find it if he came all over my boobs.

I think my sister saw my vibrator

editor — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:42:38 +0000

After this morning’s lie in, playing with a vibrator in my cum filled pussy I just left the vibrator on the bed.

Took lots of clothes out of the wardrobe and put them on the bed hiding the vibrator.

My sis popped round and we were in my room while I was packing some clothes into a suitcase.

I picked up the last peice of clothing reveiling the vibrator and then quicly had to shove it under the pillow.

I know she saw though.

Fuck!

Fuckety Fuck!

I love playing with cum

editor — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 16:17:11 +0000

I had a lovely Sunday morning lie in this morning. I woke up to my fuck buddy fingering my pussy. Much more fun than any alarm clock than I’ve ever had.

He gave me a very energetic and deeper than normal fuck. Very very nice. While he was in the shower and I was in my bed dripping with cum i realised that even though I’d been fucked already I was still feeling a little naughty.

The feeling of my pussy oozing with hot cum always makes me horny, I love the slippy, slidy wet feeling, it is such a crazy turn on. I lay there fingering my pussy and rubbing my clit with the cum making a really nice lubricated feeling, I came a few times more very quicky , my clit was still throbbing from the earlier fuck.

I reached over to the bedside draw and pulled out my vibrator. It felt so good on my clit, but using the slippiness of his cum it slipped into my pussy so easily and felt so good. I inserted it deep and turned it to full speed. I held it in position with my legs and rubbed my clit, every now and again licking my fingers tasting the sexy mixture of mine and his cum and sucking ti off my fingers. If i use a vibrator I usually need to use lube as I find it’s a bit tight, but i hate the taste of lube, even the flavoured ones aren’t much of an improvement. Give me a pussy full of cum anyday!

Is a vibrator a suitable gift for your best mate?

editor — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 22:24:22 +0000

Two days ago I had a bright idea.

A very birght idea.

An absolutly amazing idea.

I was trying to decide what to get my best mate for christmas. What does she want, what does she really want. Hmmm, let me think – chocolate, sexy bath bubbles – hmm, nice but boring. Surely there must be somethng she wants. Then i remembered a drunken chat we had about how she finds her vibrator a bit noisy and is always concious about her housemates hearing it, and worse still she said that when she uses it the TV in the comunal living room goes all fuzzy.

So I thought, by George I’ve got it, the girl has got it, I’m a genius – I’ll get her a super quiet vibrator for xmas. So I headed over to my sex toy website of choice, and searched for a super quiet vibrator. I found a few but set my eyes on this vibrator for £9.99. Watched the video about how super quiet yet powerful it is.

I was almost convinced but I was popping into town in the afternoon so thought I’d go to Anne Summers and see what they could offer me. I was quite dispointed really, the staff were helpful but thye just didn’t have what I wanted. I asked them to show me their quietest vibrator, which as it turns out was not quiet at all. In fact I do wonder if the shop assistant had misheard and thought I asked her to show me the vibrator that she would recomend using if you want all your housemates to hear through the wall.

Anyway I decided that lovehoney was the place to get it from. Despite the fact delivery is free on any order a the moment, I couldn’t stop myself from adding a few extras for me to my basket. The next day I got home from work to find my parcel waiting for me – yipee. I opened it up to find that somehow I’d acidentally ordered two. My stupidity I’m sure, I remember thinking that the order was a bit more expencive than I’d added up in my head. One for me one for her – best mates – matching vibrators – how cute, haha. But that’s not what I wanted I just wanted one for her. So the extra vibrator gives me a problem.

While I was waiting for the order to be delivered I started to wonder if my genius idea, was actually real genius or just stupid. Is it appropriate to give a vibrator to your best mate. She’s a quite open minded girl – well you’d have to be to be mates with me, but she doesn’t really know the true depths of my perversions and i suspect now may be quite embarrased to get a vibrator for xmas.

So what do you think?

Spermcube – the incredible cube of sperm

editor — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:51:39 +0000

A while ago I posted about an arts project that aims to make – well the name says it all – a cube of sperm. Not just any old cube mind you a rather gigantic cube. A cube so large in fact that when complete will contain:

1 cubic metre of cum
=
1000 litres of cum
=
1 tonne of cum

That, I’m sure you will agree is a right old cumfest. So it’s not surprising that the artist is asking for some help. You can either donate your cum – he will even send you a donation pack. Or if like me you have no sperm of your own you can buy shares. Shares that if the piece of art sells to a genourous bidder you earn you a fair penny. I’m not too sure about the likelyhood of making it rich quick but couldn’t resit the urge to have a share in such a random project. So I did it, i bought a share. Fingers crossed.

Spermcube

How do you cum here? – Kinky things to do with cum

editor — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 22:30:43 +0000

This month my favourite search term which lead someone to my blog was “Kinky things to do with cum”. I’m not sure that they really found what they were looking for as I couldn’t find anything really dedicated to kinky things to do with cum, Perhaos I’ll have to come up with some ideas. Anyway here is the best of the rest:

Things for guys to do with their own cum.

Hi peeps. i am just after some ideas on what us guys can do with our own cum whilst masturbating. to spice it up a bit rather than just letting it go everywhere? thank you

Freeze it in ice cubes, then suck them next time you masturbate.

Twice now, I have propped myself upside down against the wall and jacked-off so that my c0ck is pointing down at me and my cum shoots right into my open mouth. I’ve always wanted to do this and I finally figured out a way to do it. It’s kind of exciting. Try it guys, if you dare!

I have wanted to try my own cum on a number of occasions, but after cumming into my hand, I am not able to go through with it. I really don’t understand it, I can’t wait to cum so that I can taste it, but when the job is finished, I just can’t bring myself to go through with it. Any suggestions? Have you ever felt this way before? If so, any suggestions on getting past this and going for it?

I really think it would be easier to suck another guy, that way when he cums, I wouldn’t know it and would be able to take it then.

The pastures is always greener on the other side. It always tastes better swallowing another man’s sperm. The smoothness of the dick head in the mouth feels good too. As for the dick itself, the taste is at its best when it’s unwashed for 2 days, not more, not less. The smell and taste for a dick unwashed for more than 2 days is too pungent and too salty. For less than a day, it’s just tasteless. Uncut is the best. The male juice left under the foreskin and fermented for 2 days smells simply delicious. If you are lucky, you get “Dick’s Cheese” hidden underneath the foreskin, furthest from the opening, nearest to the neck. But strangely, guys enjoy that better than girls do

Kinky things you could do in a movie theatre besides sex

Feel her up. Let her feel you up. Sit in the very back and if there is no one near let her sit on top of you and make out. You can hump each other.

joint masturbate, hand jobs, blow jobs, fingering, golden showers, hot lunches (now thats kinky and stinky!), dirty sanchez, bring another couple and mess with them, bring 3 other dudes and train jerk, watch the movie naked, eat pop corn outta her shirt, have her fart on your straw then drink your beverage and see if you can tell the fusion of flavors, just be creative!!!

Cut a hole out of the bottom of the popcorn and put your dick in it.

Peeing Panties And Other Kinky Things

I LOVE peeing in my panties. When I have the time, I usually turn this into a full day and night event. I start off with a nice pair of nylon panties … for me … they have to be nylon. Cotton just doesn’t cut it. I suppose they could be satin or silk, but I love nylon … cause when it’s wet, you can see my clittie thru them. But this is how I do it. First, I start my day working myself up to the point of cumming (yes, wearing my panties). I love to get my precum flowing so that my panties get a little wet and I start getting a little gooey. Then, I put a pantyliner in my panties (kotex or something like that) and begin to slowly pee my panties. I just let little amounts of pee in, so that they don’t flood.They begin to get heavy and feel wonderful. When the pad gets really wet and i can feel the wetness on a regular basis … I get hard on and off. I can feel the wetness between my butt cheeks and I get hornier by the minute. I can’t tell you how exciting it is to be standing next to someone, and peeing in your panties. It’s so kinky … wearing panties to begin with, then a sanitary pad and peeing in your panties!! It’s so kinky! So perverted! So MUCH FUN! At this point, i ususally pull a pair of rubber panties on overtop of my panties/sanitary napkin. This allows me to continue to pee my panties (little squirts only) throughout the rest of the day without worrying that my pants will get soiled OR I will begin to smell like pee.With my rubber panties in place, now between the peeing and sweating … I get really wet and my erections come and go on a regular basis. If I get a moment of privacy here or there, i squish my clittie around and bring myself to the brink of orgasm. Sometimes, I go to far and do cum in my panties. I prefer not to at this point, but if I do, it just adds to my gooey wet erotic mess.

Cum Gargling porn sex sites reviews – Porno Tribune

These cum drinking Russian babes are just pleading for that load of jizz to be sprayed in their mouths. They love to engage in kinky cum play, watch them swap cum, blow cum bubbles, drink it out of glasses, and do all sorts of other kinky things with that man batter. They’re on their knees, pleading for it to be shot in their mouths. Wouldn’t you love to accommodate their wishes?

Shared Sexual Techniques

Well I’m not a female however, I am the husband and feel that I do a really good job if you will on getting her off to which she LOVES VERY MUCH and in return gives terrific blow jobs. She is such a tease some times and I know she wants me to play with her tits and pussy lick her clit if we have time. I will find her on her stomach with her feet and legs sticking out from the covers. She sometimes has already removed her panties. If she is awake “will you rub my legs and feet for just a minute?” Well I’m red blooded and never turn this down. I accept with pleasure.Rubbing the small of her back her legs and butt. I go all the way down to her feet and rub the soles of her feet pay lots of attention to the arch & the ball of her feet. She becomes so hot during this. I move her legs apart more and more all the time she does not stop or resisted any of it enjoys it all. As she is on her stomach, I work my way back up her legs and put one hand on the small of her back and one with my fingers in just the right place one inside her pussy. It is so wet!!! I can move around enough to feel her clit is very big and sensitive to the touch.Sometimes by now she is so horny that she rolls on over. I never loose contact with her body as she does this. If I’m not already naked I soon will be. But I keep up the finger inside her and then I also rub her clit in circler ways, and then I lick her clit. This almost puts her over the roof. I can feel her squirming and moaning she begins to tell me right there do not stop keep going, I’m close don’t stop now. She will reach out and grab my leg or anything close, her legs are jumping all over the place when she will suddenly clamp them down. She just holds it there for up to a minute shivering almost. When she is able to talk she says the room so still spinning. I gentle try and rub her clit and lips. I will sometimes go down on her and take her over the top again. Then we will have time with me inside her. Yes this site is really great, I think I will be going to the local hardware store and getting one of those hand held shower heads. I am more than wondering as to how that works. We have been taken a few showers with each other. That is also another great place and another time.My man will get on all fours on the bed. But instead of getting down below him as I would during doggy-style, I get behind him, usually standing on my knees behind him on the bed. It’s kind of a role reversal. Then, I reach around his legs and wrap my hands around his erection and proceed to lube it up with whatever fits the bill. Heightening cream will usually drive him wild. I then proceed to milk his penis, the same way he would normally do if he were pleasuring himself. But, this way, I’m in total control. He can’t go anywhere and I control the pace, holding off when he feels he will cum. Then I start up again, each time moving my hands up and down his shaft, especially focusing on the head. I make sure to point his penis downward at a 45 degree angle or more, which increases the pressure he feels with each stroke. Again, when he feels he will cum I stop stroking and put pressure on his perineum to hold him off. Then, after numerous starts and stops I begin my final milking by pointing his penis towards the ground and vigorously stroking his shaft while his sac bounces against my breasts and he moans in delight. This is a very effective technique, especially when I want to be in control or, perhaps I’m not quite in the mood for vaginal sex with him.

Pornographic Daydreaming

editor — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:41:08 +0000

For the past three days I have been walking round in a daydream. I’ve always been a dreamer but it is not usually this bad, I have been almost a walking zombie for the past few days. It is all the fault of a very sexy bisexual guy who I haven’t seen in years but who I’ve been flirting with recently.

So it turns out that the fulfilment of my ultimate sexual fantasy may be on the horizon. I love threesomes and have had a few in a few different formations, but there is one kind of threesome that I have so far only dreamt about. Me and two bisexual guys. I don’t know what it is specifically about this scenario that drives me wild. It probably has a lot to do with my fascination with gay porn, I love to watch guys fuck each-other, as much or perhaps even more that I love to watch straight or lesbian porn. I guess it could be because it is something I have never experienced, so it seems exotic and forbidden.

I would give anything to watch it for real, never mind being able to join in. But this potential threesome scenario gets even better. I also love the idea of being bossed around by some dominant master who makes me perform for him and do whatever he wants. So my bisexual friend it turns out has another bisexual friend who loves to be dominant and who would love nothing more than making us his obedient playthings, to serve him and do whatever he wants us to do, no matter how kinky.

I have been daydreaming of him telling us to strip naked so he could inspect us and make sure that we were worthy of being his toys. He’d have us bend over and pull our ass cheeks apart so he could have a good look. He would have to give us a thorough inspection though, he’d have to feel us all over, feel inside my pussy and finger our asses, make sure we were good enough for him. We’d be both scared about what he was going to do with us, and he’d make us touch each-other, he’d make me suck his cock and then he’d make him lick my pussy, he’d make us lick each-others asses. Then after we had performed for him if he was happy with the show we gave him then he would reward us by fucking us.

I would get to see him fuck him and I’d get to see his massive cock pounding his ass, then it would be my turn. He would fuck me senseless really hard and really deep and then he’d cum in me and the other guy would have to lick out his cum and feed it too me. So for the past three days I have been dreaming about this and have been ecstatic thinking that soon my daydream will come true.

Cum soaked knickers

editor — Mon, 12 May 2008 21:28:08 +0000

As ever intrigued by how people find my site and what else they could have visited I have decided to follow on my shave my pussy rope me up and fuck me post with a regular post on how people get here. The search that got my immediate attention was “cum soaked knickers”. I love my knickers wet and soaked with cum, mine or a guys. Especially when I’m sat on a bus or something and I can feel the stickiness.

How I got started as a slut wife

To be honest I was a bit of a slut in school. When I was 20 my hubby started to encourage me to dress more sexy and said I should go out with my friends and have fun. At first it was just harmless nights out with the girls but hubby said I should dress like my friends and show off a bit. I said that they wanted to pull guys and I was married so I shouldn’t be like that. He kept on telling me too make the most of my self and that I was a sexy woman and he liked me to look good. So I started dressing to go out just like my single friends and was soon getting a lot of attention. I told hubby that men were trying to pick me up and he said if I wanted come extra cock it was OK with him. I kept saying that I was married and that I wouldn’t be like that but secretly I was enjoying the attention and one night a nice looking man asked if he could give me a lift home and I accepted. The car stopped in a quiet spot on the way home and ten minutes later he was pumping his spunk up my cunt.

Builders Slut

Gavin put a hand in my thigh and told me that if i liked there were three men here to express yourself with. I looked him in the eye and knew at that moment, with the charge of sexual electricity in the air, what i wanted to have happen. without saying anything i looked each of them in the eye, lay back on the warm grass and said “don’t be gentle with me boys, its not what i need” they all stood up and began to remove their t-shirts, denim shorts and boots. Tony reached down and pulled me by the wrists into a sitting position. I was immediately confronted by Steves long coffee coloured cock, which was a good 9″ long. “Suck it” said Tony and gripped me by the back of my head. I opened my mouth and covered only the second penis id had in my mouth with my lips. Tony was working my head back and forth with his big rough hands while Steve was making gentle movements with his hips, the pair of them were effectively fuking my face and i wanted it to go on and on. I was feeling so turned on and i was soaking the gusset of my gym shorts with my pussy juice. I reached round and grasped Steves butt cheeks with my nailed fingers and tried to force more of him into my mouth.

Fantasy turns to reality

For a number of years I have been badgering my wife Sarah, to have a threesome but she has always refused saying that she was not interested in “getting it on” with a woman and that I was more than enough for her. We enjoyed a long period where we would incorporate the telling of fantasy stories while having sex. She liked making up stories about the sex she would have with strangers in a given scenario. I really enjoyed these and would have to summon all my powers of concentration not to cum within a few strokes once she got going. I knew she enjoyed these stories as she was always dripping wet as we fucked and we seldom needed lubricant on those occasions.
Sarah also enjoyed hearing what I would like to do and she got very turned on when I would tell her my fantasy of watching her with two or more men at once. We have incorporated various sizes of realistic dildoes and Sarah has regularly sucked and fucked them while I wank off over her tits, pussy or face, something we both enjoy.

DIRTY KNICKERS

18 year old brunette wants you to buy her knickers. Cum soaked knickers and tights – masturbated in just for you.

Cum Soaked Panties from the Nursery Maid

Your Chance to get your hands on my very wet cum soaked panties that I will wear for you all day for 2 full days. I will make sure there are droplets of piss on them when I go for a pee and before I peel them off at bedtime I will either finger myself or pull them to one side and use my rampant rabbit till I cum. Once I do they will then be used to wipe my pussy and push them inside me to soak up the cum. Once you get them they will be wet and have the scent of me on them for you to enjoy.

Cum Drinking Sluts

Laura Hermenson is first into Karl’s office. She doesn’t want an interview, all she wants to do is suck dick and get fucked. Stripping, she kneels in front of Karl and wanks on his cock as she plays with her pussy. With his manhood in Laura’s mouth Karl reaches down and slowly fingers her fanny. Lying back Karl rubs the head of his cock between Laura’s legs, she slams her pussy down on the erect shaft. Having been shagged doggy and missionary Laura wants to taste her juices mixed with Karl’s spunk. He fires his load over her mouth.
In a leopard-print top and black leather mini skirt, Angel-Long is next in the office. There is no one in when she turns up so she occupies herself giving a dildo on the desk a blow job. Karl enters to see Angel’s stocking clad legs and tight black skirt bent over his desk. Angel wants to show Karl what she can do and starts to rub her pussy through her knickers. Stripped, the pair 69 on Karl’s sofa, strings of saliva dripping from Angel’s mouth onto Karl’s cock. Turning onto her back, Angel pulls her long legs behind her head so Karl can fill her pussy, she then gets him to lie down to ride his cock reverse cowgirl, arching her back as they bonk. Having had her pussy stuffed Angel pulls at her bum cheeks and wants Karl up her arse. He rams his dick deep into her bum hole, working away till he’s ready to cum. Angel wants it on her face and waits open mouthed for the jizz.

My first lesbian sex

When I was young, I was always fascinated with willies, and now I am older, I can’t live without my man’s dick (Its 8 and half inches long for fuck sack!!). Saying this, like most girls, I have occasionally wondered what it would be like. When I was about fourteen I went through a phase of fantasising about girls.
I was up late one night watching late night TV. Flicking through the channels I stumbled across some porn. It was of a gorgeous blonde playing with herself. I immediately felt my pussy pulse. This really took me by surprise. I had never before reacted like this to a girl. As I sat there watching this beautiful woman fucking herself, I noticed that my hand had wondered down between my legs and dived inside my moist knickers. My pussy felt really hot, and I could feel my slit was getting wet.

A SLITFUL of Knickers

So THAT’S what you’re after said Jan Stater, knickers in her cunt.
She’d decided that afternoon, as she was teaching her Sixth Year St Anonimous girls, that she fancied some sex. She’d decided she’d get Hubby to fuck her upon her return from work.
She had a lot of marking to do, later. If she left the sex off till bedtime, she might be too tired and let the moment pass.
Jan Stater stopped off at Tesco at Danestone on the way back to the Bridge of Don. She’d seen some nice sex panties on the display there, last time she’d been in doing her food shopping.
She knew exactly what she was shopping for and made her purchases quickly, escaping through the 10 Items or Less till. As she got into her car and before she drove the five minutes up the road to the house, she texted ahead.
‘It’s me. Get your knob ready!’
He was in the house before doing his evening sales visits and needed no persuading. He shot into the shower for a quick freshen up and saw to a quick change of clothes.

The Wetland Potteries

When she entered it was exactly 8pm and Mr. Clooney, looking up from his desk, welcomed her into the space and called her across to the desk. She walked across to stand in front of him and then handed him the paperwork on ‘Wetland Properties’. He took them and briefly glanced at them before putting them aside. He then looked her up and down and told her to get undressed down to her lingerie. She had expected this, but it had come rather earlier than she had thought likely. She removed her coat and placed it on a chair then unfastened her blouse and removing it put it down beside her coat.
“Are you wearing stockings and suspenders?” he asked.
Charlotte said nothing, but unzipped her skirt and dropped it to the floor.
“Good” said Mr. Clooney.
Now she was standing in just her underclothes. Mr. Clooney sat and watched, drinking in her fantastic body. Already her nipples were hard and standing out from the breasts, pushing against the silky material of her bra. She stood there facing him with her hands at her sides while he sat back and looked her up and down.

Enjoy…

I wish all guys liked their own baking!

editor — Sun, 11 May 2008 20:15:12 +0000

I have had the most amazing weekend. There’s something about sunshine that makes everything more enjoyable, especially when it is the first real sunshine of summer. I have spent most of the past 48 hours with a huge grin on my face. That wasn’t quite all courtesy of the sun though.I spent last night with one of my fuck buddies. Relaxing with beer and a curry followed by amazing sex and lots of it!!! That’s always guaranteed to put a smile on my face but last night he did something that drove me even wilder than normal.

I like a nice creampie. Well actually I’m quite a greedy girl, why just stop at one. I like to be overflowing with cum, and have it dripping down my leg when I stand up. The feel and taste and smell is such a turn on.

I also love the taste of pussy. I also love the taste of my pussy. I love licking it off my fingers, and I love to lick my juices off my partner’s fingers, cock or wherever else that gets a coating. So I love the taste of mine and don’t quite understand why everyone doesn’t like theirs – especially guys.

I find the thought of a guy tasting his own cum so unbelievably sexy. I have often imagined a guy filling me with cum and then licking it out but until last night that has remained in my head. One of my special little fantasies that I bring out for a special occasion, topped only by the fantasy about having a mff threesome and me licking his cum out of her pussy or ass. Yum.

Last night I experienced that for real, and I think this weekend I have had some of the best sex ever. He went down on me, something that he really good at and then gave me a nice big kiss so I could taste myself, then gave me a really good fucking. Then to my delight he went down on me again and then gave me another very wet cum flavour kiss. I nearly came all over again.

I think I’ll be having very sweet dreams tonight and for the foreseeable future.